I Ain't Even Mad: Part One

I don't care what any of you say, we all have those songs on our iPods that we may be a tad embarrassed of. Even you hipsters out there, I know you've got yourself some N*SYNC or Selena Gomez hidden away on some playlist of yours and if you say you don't then you're a dirty little liar. There ain't no shame in it, you own that Justin Bieber love melody and rock your tukas 'til the break of dawn. Whether because a certain song holds memories with your bestie or because, let's face it, some of them are just so flippin' catchy, we've all got them, our guilty pleasures. 

1. As Long as You Love Me- Justin Bieber

I bet you didn't think it was possible, but it's probably a safe bet that I actually can't stand this kid more than Taylor Swift. The fact that he suckered me into buying one of his songs did NOT help. I had first heard it by mistake whilst passing through channels and the music video was playing on FUSE. Then, just hours later, I was singing it as the chorus kept running through my head like a Kenyan on speed. Next thing I knew, I was clicking the 'BUY NOW' button on iTunes. 

2. Can't Be Tamed- Miley Cyrus

Apparently, for Miss Cyrus to prove that she cannot, in fact, be tamed she had to dress up like a peacock and gyrate her way through a museum. If I had a dollar for every time I've done that....

Regardless, I've tortured many-a-friends in the car with this number. 

3. Every Taylor Swift Song

Is it my fault she has musical crack? No. I've never been one to deny that her songs are just so freaking catchy. I'm definitely ashamed of every song of hers that I have(and I have quite a bit) BUT, I will say that I have never actually bought a single one, I've just stolen the CDs from my mom or gotten them as gifts from family members(since clearly, if someone's a girl she's automatically going to love Tswift. Logic.)

(On a side note- someone PLEASE explain to me how this is still considered country? Johnny Cash must be rolling in his grave.)

4. My Songs Know What You did in the Dark-

Fall Out Boy

This one I actually just bought today. I had no intention of ever listening to any Fall Out Boy songs, but I was sitting in the car with my sister and it just came up on the radio and that's when I shook my head in despair and realized I would be spending another $1.29 on a song that would make my friends question their relationship with me. Whatever. I've already listened to it 4 times. YOLO?

5. Burnin' Up- Jonas Brothers

I actually have a fair amount of Jonas Brothers on my iTunes and oddly, I'm not THAT embarrassed. I was totes one of those girls who had a crush on them and just thought they were the bee's knees. An ode to my last true fangirling over a boy band. RIP.

6. Mambo No. 5- Lou Bega

This song is so annoying, but I still can't help listening to it. I'm pretty sure the only reason I have any sort of emotional attachment to this song is because it reminds me of my childhood. I remember this being on the radio ALL the time and blasting it on my boombox. Little did I realize it was about a guy picking-up all of these women like Hugh Hefner......whoops. 

7. Cannible- Ke$ha

I just....I can't even explain this one.

8. Pump Up the Jam- Technotronic

Another walk down memory lane. This little number was on one of my Disney Radio CDs and I would party hard to it in my Power Puff Girl pjs with my Pikachu stuffed animal. Come at me, bro.

9. My Heart Will Go On- Celine Dion

One time, when I was PMSing, I actually started tearing up when I heard this. I was in public. And all I could think about was freaking Kate letting Leo down to the depths of the ocean.

TWO COULD HAVE FIT ON THAT DOOR KATE! 

10. A Thousand Years- Christina Perri

I realize I already have this on a previous post and I also realize that this might not even count as a guilty pleasure, but the mere fact that it's the official love ballad for Twilight brings a certain amount of shame and dishonor on me. Mushu is just moments away from wishing ill on me and my entire family, but that's a risk I'm willing to take. 

"You Gotta Hear this One Song; It'll Change Your Life I Swear."

In case y'all couldn't tell, I love me some movies. Whether it be a tear-jerker like Titanic or a cinematic joy like Wedding Crashers, I'm pretty much game for anything. (Except for maybe Sci-Fi. Can't really get into stuff like that.) But sometimes the best part of a movie is it's soundtrack. So here are some of the best soundtracks(songs in particular)that make me question whether I actually liked the movie or the music more. 

1. Talk Show Host- Radiohead (Romeo & Juliet)

I literally don't care what any of you say, this is by far the best song on a soundtrack ever. You wanna know why? Because your insta-first thought when hearing this song(assuming you've seen the movie) is beautiful Leonardo DiCaprio's flawless face slow panning on screen. 

And anything that gives you that mental image is a gift from God.

2. Don't Panic- Coldplay (Garden State)

To be honest, this has to be the best soundtrack on the face of the planet. The only reason I picked this song off the soundtrack in particular is just because it's the first song in the film. I don't even have enough words to describe how awesome this whole soundtrack is, but believe me, it's amazeballs and you should watch the movie and buy the soundtrack ASAP. 

3. Over the Love- Florence & the Machine 

(The Great Gastby)

Right after Garden State, The Great Gatsby probably has the second best soundtrack ever. This song in particular just gives me chills. I have literally listened to it over 100 times by now and I'm still not sick of it. And you can safely assume that I'm rocking out to it alone in the car and have given many passing drivers quite the show. I think it's hauntingly beautiful and I'm obsessed. Plus, it's another Leo DiCap movie, so that is that. 

4. Safe and Sound- Taylor Swift 

(The Hunger Games)

Okay, so we all know my distaste for Taylor Swift, but this, I have to admit, is one of the prettiest and sweetest songs I've ever heard. It actually kills me a little on the inside because when I listen to it it makes me believe for those 4 minutes that Taylor isn't the psychotic bimbo that we all know her to be. It's deceptive. And I don't appreciate that. Regardless, this song is fantastic and I can't deny it.

5. Mad World- Gary Jules (Donnie Darko)

Just another beautiful song. It's so dark and full of sadness, but it's just so freaking good. It perfectly sums up the feeling of the movie and it's fan-freaking-tastic.

6. A Thousand Years- Christina Perri 

(Breaking Dawn)

Judge all you want, but YEAH, I like this song. 

It's deliciously cheesy and probably one of the only redeeming qualities of the whole Twilight franchise. I think it's sweet and it brings out the girly girl inside of me that believes in soul-mates and unicorns. 

7. Bella Finals- Barden Bellas (Pitch Perfect)

Everyone loves Pitch Perfect

(hehehehe see what I did there?)

But seriously, this movie is the shizz. If college were actually anything like this movie I might enjoy it more, but alas, I will never have the voice of a thousand angels and have this beautiful specimen of a man tell me that we're going to have aca-children together.

So, for the time being, I'll just sit here and listen to the best song on the soundtrack(although all of it is pretty bomb-digity) and fantasize about that divine face.

8. Moon River- Henry Mancini 

(Breakfast at Tiffany's)

This is just a straight-up classic. I don't think I can even say much more about it than that. It just makes me want to wear my big sunglasses, eat a danish, and walk the streets of NYC. 

9. How it Ends- DeVotchKa

(Little Miss Sunshine)

When I first saw this movie I was positively obsessed with this song. It's all instrumental and another case where it just fully represents what the entire movie is about. It's just wonderful and very calming. 

10. Down with the Sickness- Richard Cheese

(Dawn of the Dead)

This is just the definition of excellent. It's a jazz song cover of a hardcore rock song that plays at the end of a zombie movie. Freaking great. I love jazz music, so this was right up my alley. Nothing makes me more excited for a zombie apocalypse than some jazzy feel-good music.

11. The 2nd Law: Isolated Systems- Muse 

(World War Z)

This list makes it look like I like zombie movies than I actually do, but oh well. Now, it can be argued that Muse has become quite the sell-out band(not that I terribly disagree) but when I was sitting through the opening credits of the movie I fell in love. To me, it sounds like what a zombie apocalypse would sound like(minus the absent screaming and crying...minor details). I obviously didn't know it was Muse when I heard it in the credits, so you bet your bottom dollar that I went and Googled it right when I got home and promptly bought it. I'm obsessed. 

I Will Go Down with this Ship

It's true, I might be a little too involved in my favorite celebrity's lives, but I don't think that makes me a bad person. So what if I can name every episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S. but not be able to recall all 50 states? Hollywood's pain is my pain and I'm still eating cartons of ice cream over the failed relationships of Tinseltown. 

So here are the most depressing break-ups(both real and fictional) that I'm still not over and will forever 'ship'.

*'Ship' or 'Shipping'-N:Short for romantic relationship, popularized in

 fanfiction circles. 

V: To endorse a romantic relationship. 

1. Britney and Justin

It's been 11 years, she's married twice, two kids; and he is married to the ever-so-boring Jessica Biel, but I'm still rooting for the day these two find their way back to each other. She was a teen queen and he was a boy band dreamboat. It's a match made in 90s heaven and this couple needs to make a comeback. 

2. Brad and Jen

At this point Brad and Angelina have been together longer than Brad and Jen were ever an item, but my heart still aches. I mean, who breaks-up with America's Sweetheart for a woman who clearly took the 'buy two get one free' sign at the orphanage a little too seriously?

Every time I watch the F.R.I.E.N.D.S Thanksgiving episode, "The One with the Rumor" and Brad Pitt is the guest star, I can hear my heart whimper when I remind myself that they are no longer together. 

And let's be honest, Jen is TOTALLY aging way better than Angie. She looks like a Greek Goddess. 

*Cries and screams into pillow*

3. Eric and Sookie

Now, this one is a fictional break-up, but nonetheless. 

True Blood has got to be one of the sexiest shows to have ever existed and I will forever and always be eternally grateful for it introducing me to Alexander Skarsgard/Eric Northman. While Ms. Sookie Stackhouse may personally annoy the bajesus out of me, I will never not 'ship' them as a couple. 

Since many of you probably don't know anything about this show, just know that basically there is a love triangle between Bill Compton, Sookie, and Eric. (Because a love triangle is as original as it gets nowadays.) Bill was her first love and they were together for the first 3 seasons, then she and Eric have a tryst in the 4th and now they're not together. I basically think the Eric Northman is the greatest thing since white bread, but then again the fact that I think that probably means I need extensive therapy.(If you watch the show you'll understand why.) 

4. Leo and Kate

Alright, so TECHNICALLY these two never actually broke-up, because they were never a couple, but seriously? What the heck people? THESE TWO ARE CLEARLY MEANT TO BE!! I don't even care that she's currently newly married with a baby on the way and that Leo seems to have a babysitting complex with all the 20 year olds that he hangs around with- if there were any two people more perfectly suited together it would be these two(minus me and Mr. Skarsgard. Clearly we're soulmates and he just doesn't know it yet.) 

These two are freaking BFFs and Kate's kids even call him 'uncle Leo' 

"DiCaprio revealed just how close he and Winslet have become since they formed what he describes as an 

'unbreakable bond' during the making of the hit film titanic in 1997.

it has been, he told me in our previous meetings before the wedding, a relationship of laughter and tears all the way.“she’s one of my closest friends and feels we can say anything to each other,” http://www.express.co.uk

COME OOOONNNN!!!

Look at how happy he is for her when she won her Golden Globe!

LOOK AT HIM BLOWIN' HER A KISS!!

Get it together, you two!

5. Russell and Katy

I was rooting for this couple hardcore, y'all. When I found out they were dating I was just overcome with joy and then when I found out they got married it just did me in. But in early 2012 they announced their impending divorce and my world came crashing down. Perhaps I'm being a tad dramatic, but I was upset. I thought they were just precious. He- the funny former bad boy- and her the cutie little pop star. I wish these two crazy kids could've worked it out.

6. Kim and Kris

No split came as a bigger surprise than Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. She is just such a kind and giving human being and not AT ALL a self-involved little princess. Then there is Kris, who is clearly the smartest man who has ever walked this earth and knew that his little Kimmy was the girl of his dreams. Their 72-day marriage was in no way insulting to the sanctity of marriage.

I'm clearly kidding. This was a train wreck waiting to happen and is the only reason I actually enjoyed watching Kim&Kourtney Take New York, so I could see the downward spiral of their relationship that would inevitably happen. 

Well, minus the Kim and Kris relationship, I will always remember these amazing couples and 'ship' them until the end of my days. 

Still rooting for you guys!

The 7 Wonders of the World

Not a day goes by where there isn't something that just causes me a moments pause and leaves me baffled and flabbergasted(word of the day calendar). So, if someone could help a girl out and aid me in understanding my daily quandaries, it would be much appreciated.

1. How is Kristen Stewart still around

Seriously, I don't understand this at all. How does she remotely still have a career. Nay- how does she even have a career? She is quite possibly the worst actress I have ever witnessed(and I've seen drunk friends try to put on a production of Cats). You can't even say that, "Oh Twilight was just a bad movie." NO. She has no talent whatsoever. I've seen Robert Pattinson act in other movies and he's not terrible(granted, no Oscar in his future, but whatever). So it can't all be Twilight's fault. Just please, someone explain to me how she is still getting any acting jobs.

2. How does Leo DiCaprio not have an Oscar

Poor, poor Leo. He is probably the greatest actor that has ever graced the big screen and yet EVERY TIME he gets nominated for an Oscar he gets jipped. 

I mean, come on, he played a mentally challenged child at 14 and did so amazing that people were shocked to find out that he wasn't mentally handicapped at the What's Eating Gilbert Grape premiere. COME ON ACADEMY!

And he's just gotten more talented since then. Heck, every time I see him in a movie I practically forget he's Leonardo DiCaprio and actually believe he's whatever character he's currently portraying. 

This is literally one of the greatest mysteries of life.

Leo finally winning an Oscar:

3. Why do people think they shouldn't get offended

Now, let me make this clear, I'm not advocating that people should just start bashing each other all the time and never take people's feelings into consideration, but why does it seem that everyone is getting all sensitive? Like, one semi-rude comment and people flip their lid. Or worse- people think that if someone doesn't think the same way they do it's wrong/rude/stupid/etc. Now, I'm not perfect, obviously I've had my moments of maybe thinking that way(as many of my friends can probably attest) but at the end of the day I do try(try being the keyword) to remind myself that everyone is entitled to their own opinions and it's OK, even great, that we're not all carbon-copies of each other. Let's be honest, the world would be pretty boring if we all thought the same way.

4. Selfies

Just, why? Now, a selfie here-and-there is ok, especially when  you're maybe in need of a new profile picture, but how is it that everyday I hop onto Facebook or Instagram and all I see are the same people who must sit in their rooms and just take pictures of themselves? Literally, just of their faces. All the time. Everyday. I bet a lot of you don't even realize that I've blocked some of you because I was so sick of seeing your face pop up on my newsfeed. I don't think your face has changed that much in the last 24 hours. I didn't forget what you look like. So please, just stop.

The two thoughts that enter my head when I notice you are one of those people is that you either are: 

(A) One of the most insecure people on the planet and need validation from others for your existence(in which case, I'm so sorry you feel that way, really. No sarcasm).

or worse

(B) You are one of the most self-involved people on the planet. Don't get me wrong, I'm an attention whore too(why do you think I started this blog) but I really try to make my blog, Facebook statuses, etc. funny so that way I'm maybe contributing to society in some way. I love making people laugh. ANYWAY- what are the 20 pictures of your face doing to help my life in any way? They're not. 

5. The Duck Face.

I'm not the first to complain about this, and I'm certainly not the last. There are pictures ALL over the internet of people making fun of girls who make the "Duck Face" and yet, I kid-you-not, there are still girls(ages 20+) on my newsfeed and Instagram who are making duck faces. And not ironically. And how do you know if a girl is making a Duck Face ironically? If a girl posts a picture with another friend and they make the Duck Face and there aren't any other traces of Duck Faces on her account- then they were doing it ironically. However, if there are solo pictures, pictures with friends, cats, statues, vegetables, and more while she's making the Duck Face....she's not doing it ironically. 

GIRLS- STOP MAKING THE DUCK FACE! IT'S NOT CUTE. 

STTAAAHHHPPPP

6. Why do people think Facebook is their diary

It never fails that anytime I log onto Facebook I will inevitably see at least one person complaining about their life. And, more likely than not, they will be INCREDIBLY vague about their problem and then when someone comments on their status asking what happened they'll respond, "It's none of your business," or "I don't want to talk about it."

WHY WOULD YOU POST A STATUS ABOUT IT THEN? YOU'RE JUST ASKING FOR ATTENTION.

See, people need to realize:

People go on Facebook to be entertained, to judge, and to creep. I'm not saying it's right, but let's just call it like it is. That's why I seriously will only post something if I think it's funny and think it will entertain others, because I know that when I log-on all I want to do is laugh. (and I like getting the 'likes'. I ain't even gunna lie. And whoever says they don't get some sort of validation from people liking their status is a dirty liar.)

7. Why do people deny getting scared when they go see scary movies

I'm just as guilty about doing this as anyone else. I actually talked about it with my roomie just the other day. We were watching a scary movie a few nights ago and that went into a conversation about the scariest movies we've seen and so on. And that's when I came to the realization that people will go to scary movies, and then when they get scared- by screaming, jumping, jerking, etc.- they(we) try to deny to those around us that we got scared. Why though? I deliberately go to see scary movies because I love getting scared and always look forward to actually getting a reaction out of a scary movie(since I don't usually scare too easily since I've see so many scary movies.) But then when I'm in said scary movie and jump a little at certain parts I always try to play it off as if I didn't really just get frightened. WHY DO I DO THAT? I'M GETTING THE REACTION I WANT FROM THE MOVIE AND I'M TRYING TO DENY IT!

I don't get it.