I may not be the most fashion-forward female or be the smartest tool in the shed, but I will say that I have excellent taste in movies. I pride myself in my movie knowledge and admire those who are more knowledgeable than me. However, I can't lie, while I own some of the greatest pieces of cinema magic, like Gone with the Wind or The Dark Knight Rises, they're still sitting right smack dab between my other list of guilty pleasures. While in my previous confession of guilty pleasures in music there was a sense of shame, I feel no remorse in the terrible movies that I've bought in the past and will buy in the future.
1. The Mummy (1999)
I absolutely love love love love love this movie.
A) It's all about Egypt and when I was a scrappy young girl I loved ancient Egypt.
B) This movie got me into more action/thriller/scary movies. While rewatching now that I'm older I realize it's not scary or anything of that sort, but when I was 7 that was a different story. I specifically remember asking my sister, "please just tell me when there is no killing going on." and her response was, "Um, there's killing throughout the entire thing."
I quickly got over it.
and finally,
C) Brendan Fraser was such a babe.
My little 2nd grader self wanted nothing more than to be his recces wife. *swoon*
2. Crossroads (2002)
In case y'all weren't aware, Britney Spears was my teen queen back in the day. I still adore her, but she was everything I wanted to be when I was younger. (you can imagine how much my parents loved that.) So when I found out that she was going to be in a REAL movie, my little fangirling self was just thrilled. You can imagine my despair when my mother wouldn't let me see this in theaters though. It wouldn't be until a few years later when I'd finally be able to watch it because I bought the VHS tape at a yard sale.
Obviously at the time I loved this movie and thought it was perfect, but now that I'm just so much older and wiser I realize it might not be as good as I remembered.
I mean, come on, Britney playing a virginal valedictorian?
Irregardless, I just re-bought this movie on DVD back in April.
I regret nothing.
3. Jennifer's Body (2009)
Ohmygoodness I love this movie. It's so terrible without actually being terrible. It's written by the same woman who wrote Juno, so it's that kind of dry humor-esque. I love it. And the soundtrack is the bomb.com. Say what you want about Megan Fox, but she's sexy and then Mr. Seth Cohen from the OC makes a little appearance in it- and for someone who is wearing guy-liner he still looks pretty freaking good. This movie is the shizz.
4. Cruel Intentions (1999)
I clearly did not see this movie when it first came out. It's just been within the last couple of years that I finally saw it and that was because I knew it had created such a culturally significant time for the teens of the 90's. I'm not sure what kind of expectations I had for this movie when I first watched it, but I can tell you it did not end up being what I thought it would. This movie is so strange and to be honest, kinda disturbing on a lot of levels. And yet, it's like a car crash, you want to look away, but you just can't.
You can't.
And then by the end of the movie you have such mixed emotions. You're not sure if you thought it was stupid or ingenious. Either way, I bought it and enjoy subjecting myself to it every one in a while.
5. Deep Blue Sea (1999)
In honor of Shark Week this week I obviously had to include this one.
And going through my list of terrible movies I seem to be noticing a pattern with the year a majority of these came out. Ending the 90's with a bang.
Anyway, this movie is seriously probably one of the worst things I have ever seen. But whatever. No one goes to see a shark movie expecting Oscars, they go because they want to see some people get mangled and just absolutely destroyed. In which case, this movie totally delivered.
And let's just take a moment of silence to remember Samuel L. Jackson's most beautiful and inspiring scene, shall we?
I can practically feel the tears running down my cheek.
6. The Happening (2008)
You know what, this movie genuinely creeps me out.
Judge Me.
Come on, I know hearing from others that basically the plants are the killers sounds stupid, but in the movie it makes sense! They say it's because plants know how to communicate with each other and therefore can send out messages and specific chemicals/toxins to kill off whatever they see as a threat. So now over the years they(the plants)figured out that we're the threat so they're killing us to survive. Whatever; freaks me out and I'm not going to sit here and lie and say that when I was walking out of the movie theater and saw a tree blowing in the wind I wasn't thinking to myself, "aw crap I'm gunna die."
No shame.
7. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
I made some of my friends watch this movie last year and they hated me for it. They thought this movie was awful, but I love it. I mean, it is awful, but that's what makes it so good. It's not scary at all, but I think it's the best 'scary movie' that came out in the time of Friday the 13th and the Halloween movies. Although I think the concept of some creepy old dude being able to kill you WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING is pretty terrifying- especially for someone *cough cough* who could sleep more than a sloth. Plus, this movie was Johnny Depp's first feature film, so thank you, Wes Craven.
8. Van Helsing (2004)
This movie is kinda ridiculous. I wouldn't say terrible, but just kind....yeah.
But it has Hugh Jackman in it....and while he's not an amazing actor, he is sexy and watching him kick some evil ass in this movie is enough for me to like it and get past the bad CGI effects and the horrible Transylvanian accents.
9. Magic Mike (2012)
No shame. NOOOOOOOO SHAME. This movie was everything I'd hoped it would be and more. While obviously no one goes to see this movie for the story line, I was actually impressed by the story line they felt the need to have. It was nothing great, durrr, but once again, I didn't see this expecting some Leonardo DiCaprio-type acting. This movie actually made me a Channing Tatum fan(because honestly, literally couldn't have cared less about him before then). You go watch him dance to 'Pony' and then tell me you don't find him the least bit attractive. DO IT.
10. Ever After (1998)
This movie isn't even remotely bad and to most of you probably wouldn't even be considered a guilty pleasure. The only reason I consider it a guilty pleasure of mine is because I'm not a big fan of fairytale stories or chick flicks. Even with Disney movies I was never in love with Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Partially because I don't believe in that 'love at first sight' crap and whatnot. My favorite romance-type movies have always been either
1) they hated each other first then fell in love- a la Pride and Prejudice
or
2) Best friends falling in love- like Hermione and Ron
And don't even get me started on the monstrosity that is Nicholas Sparks.
Anyway, the reason I think I love this movie is that even though it's supposed to be a "Cinderella Story" it actually showed Danielle and Henry get to know each other and whatnot; being a little more 'realistic' or as realistic as you can get with this kinda thing. I'm just a sucker for this movie.
