So the 'official' first day of summer is coming up this Friday and all this has made me do is wish for the beginning of fall already.
There are the Pumpkin Spice Lattes at Starbucks, bonfires, MY BIRTHDAY!, and, of course, Halloween. And what goes better with Halloween than scary movies?
So if you're anything like me and want to have yourself a little Halloween in June- then look no further.
The top 6 movies that scare(d) the bajesus out of me:
1. Disney's Pinocchio(1940)
Guys, I'm not even trying to be funny or anything. This movie absolutely terrifies me. I had first seen it probably 15 years ago, and you know how when you're younger your imagination plays tricks on you and does make things scarier than they actually are? About a year ago that's what I had assumed happened to me so I had the brilliant idea that, "Oh I'll just rewatch it now that I'm a mature young adult and I'm sure it's not scary."
I WAS WRONG
I didn't even know it was possible, but it was even SCARIER than I had even remembered. I hate it. I genuinely had heart palpitations while trying to watch this.
First, let's just talk about the fox and cat. THEY ARE TRYING TO MURDER A PUPPET. And seriously, why make the murderous douchebags a fox and cat? SOME OF US HAD CATS AS PETS and so what does that do to a little kid? Oh, that's right, it makes you terrified of your own cuddle buddy. Way to ruin a childhood Disney. Job well done.
Secondly, Pinocchio gets swallowed by a whale. And if you've been lucky and haven't seen this movie, I'll just give you a little tid-bit, the whale is NOT as nice and kind as the whale that gave Dory and Nemo's dad a quick little lift to Australia. This whale must've been Satan's right-hand pet, because the whale was a dick. Pinocchio did eventually get out, but only because HE HAD TO LIGHT A FIRE IN THE WHALE.
Lastly, the most TRAUMATIZING aspect of this movie is the entire scene on 'Pleasure Island.' Let's just reflect on this oh-so-pleasurable place, shall we? There is an old man who is kidnapping little boys and TURNING THEM INTO DONKEYS. While, yes, these little boys were jackasses(oh...I think I just understood the symbolism of them turning into donkeys....clever...-__-) that does NOT mean they deserve to be turned into donkeys and sold into circuses. The most disturbing part of this, for me, is while the boys are transforming into these animals they're just crying out for their mothers and just crying and crying and crying. And, whatever, it might be the female in me, but it tears up my heart and causes me to have a panic attack.
I'm not even kidding, while I was watching this clip to make sure it was the one I was looking for, my heart rate increased. I believe it's because this scene combines my two biggest issues: Animal Abuse and Child Abuse. I just can't.
Moral of the story- this movie is absolutely terrifying and the fact that it's actually a children's movie should be a crime. I'm pretty sure Hitler had a hand in the making of this film.
2. The Ring (2002)
I've always been obsessed with scary movies and I remember when this one came out in theaters, I was 10, and I was not allowed to see this and I was so upset! So, what did I do? When it came out on DVD I went over to my friend's house and while I'm sure my mom thought I was watching Barney and Friends I was actually watching this! MUAHAHAHAHAHA. Little did I know that the joke was on me after it was over.
In case you don't know what it's about- it's essentially about how after you watch a certain tape you get a phone call immediately after viewing from a little girl telling you, "Seven Days," and if you're dumb and don't understand what that means, it means you're going to DIE.
Now, I'm not going to ruin this movie by describing everything that happens in it, so you'll just have to watch it yourself.
Have fun looking behind doors and going near TVs for the next week ;)
3. Evil Dead (2013)
I saw this with my rommie and we were squealing like little piggies during the entire cinematic adventure and I never usually react that way while watching a movie. I'm pretty sure the only reason this movie freaked me out is because it was the 'cheap scare.' It was a whole lot of gore and just...shocking. I was not expecting what I ended up watching that evening I walked into the movie theater.
Since I really didn't have a clue what this movie was about when I agreed to go see this- I'll give you a heads up. There is this group of young adults, probably 20-25, who go to a remote cabin in the woods because one of them is a druggie trying to get clean and the others are trying to help her not to relapse. While in in the cabin they discover this book of the dead that summons demons and people end up getting possessed, someone gets raped by a tree, and another cuts her face off.
So if you're in the mood to get disturbed and make you shield your eyes- then this is the movie for you.
Now, at least for me, this wasn't one of those movies that I would have ever lost sleep over, but just while you're watching it it'll make you freak out.
4. Paranormal Activity 1, 2, & 3
Now, I might be alone in this, but I think these movies got scarier as the continued. Which, honestly, that surprised me, because I always going into sequels of movies thinking that they are going to be just terrible(minus if they're based off of books).
How these particular series of movies work is that the first is about a couple who lives together and the woman, Katie, is being followed and tormented by a demon that's been in her life since she was a little girl. In the second and third movies they are prequels to the first movie. I can't really give a synopsis to the second or third without ruining the first movie, so you'll just have to watch them.
Now, what I said about Evil Dead(how it wasn't a movie you'll be thinking about after you walk out of the theater), Paranormal Activity is the opposite. While you're sitting there watching it there is even a possibility that you'll be thinking to yourself, "Wow, this really isn't that scary." It's not until you're at home. by yourself. with the lights off. and you hear a noise that you're first thought will be,
"OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH THERE IS A DEMON IN MY HOUSE. I'M GOING TO GET POSSESSED AND I'M GOING TO DIE!"
Don't believe me, then fine. Have fun not sleeping.
5. Sanctum (2011)
This movie goes along with Pinocchio- I will never, ever, watch this again. Heads up: This is a movie about a cave diving team and goes and dives down in this HUGE cave that has been unexplored and while they're down there it starts to storm and floods the cave so the team has to SWIM and CLIMB in the opposite direction to try to find a new way to get out of this cave.While this isn't probably a scary movie in the traditional sense, it absolutely scarred me and here's why:
1) My biggest fear is being in a tight space. I guess I maybe have a little claustrophobia, whatever. This ENTIRE movie is basically them in the TIGHTEST spots possible. I actually had to revert my eyes when there was a specific scene where they were having trouble shifting through a tiny whole.
2) As if the claustrophobia aspect wasn't enough, half the time while they were in these micro holes, they were also UNDERWATER. And drowning is more terrifying to me than a serial killer. While logically it's probably less painful to drown than to be hacked into pieces, I don't care. Drowning doesn't look like a good time.
6. The Exorcist (1973)
No horror movie list is ever complete without this film. It's a classic. Now I know everyone pretty much knows what this movie is about, but JUST IN CASE:
It's about the sweet little girl Regan who is possessed by Satan and she and her mother seek the help of two priest.
I will say, I will never own this movie and will never have it in my house. The two times I have watched it it's been in other people's houses.
It might be me being superstitious, but I do think this movie is just...I don't want to say evil.... but it's not good. I mean, it is good- cinematic wise- but for you're own health and sanity not good. While most scary movies feed off of your fears(being chased by a killer, drowning, etc) this one just leaves you feeling nasty. Like, there is a genuine dreaded feeling that gets associated with this film.
The soundtrack alone will make your skin crawl. It's fantastic.
This is definitely a movie where you need to watch a Disney movie right after. ASAP.(JUST NOT PINOCCHIO!)
